rovi Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 What do you get if you put two apples together? A pear? Come on, somebody must know an even worse one than that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyS Posted August 14, 2017 Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 'ere that's my joke and I claim all the associated groans. Anyway, for my encore : What do you call a lonely toucan? A onecan, of course! Blame that one on Spike Milligan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rovi Posted August 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 14, 2017 Not lousy enough for any points.....sorry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Barker Posted August 15, 2017 Report Share Posted August 15, 2017 Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him what? A super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis I said to the gym instructor ‘Can you teach me to do the splits?’ He said ‘How flexible are you?’ I said ‘I can’t make Tuesdays’ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Barker Posted August 22, 2017 Report Share Posted August 22, 2017 A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rovi Posted August 28, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 28, 2017 Missed you on Sunday Sean How about a joke instead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rovi Posted August 30, 2017 Author Report Share Posted August 30, 2017 What is brown, lives at the bottom of the sea, and attacks young mermaids. Jack the KIPPER !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TonyS Posted September 7, 2017 Report Share Posted September 7, 2017 A duck was thinking about crossing the road. A passing chicken said "I wouldn't bother, you'll never hear the end of it". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs DAVIES Posted September 14, 2017 Report Share Posted September 14, 2017 Did you hear about the man who poisoned his wife with a knife? He gave her arse a nic! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Barker Posted October 9, 2017 Report Share Posted October 9, 2017 I just bought my tortoise some new clothes. Got him a shell suit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sean Barker Posted October 31, 2017 Report Share Posted October 31, 2017 Just saw someone dressed as Gloria Gayner for Halloween. First I was afraid I was petrified Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarashell Posted March 14, 2019 Report Share Posted March 14, 2019 Braking news. It’s feared that continental quilts will stop working after brexit. 😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sherpa Posted March 16, 2019 Report Share Posted March 16, 2019 ... Brussel Sprouts and French Letters may also be at risk shock horror! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leigh Posted March 17, 2019 Report Share Posted March 17, 2019 Whats the difference between a guitar and a fish....you can't tuna fish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sarashell Posted March 17, 2019 Report Share Posted March 17, 2019 Viagra, won’t make you James Bond. But it could make you Roger Moore. 🤣😂 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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