TonyS

Saracen Members
  • Content count

    468
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    38

TonyS last won the day on September 4

TonyS had the most liked content!

About TonyS

  • Rank
    Advanced Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Not Telling

Recent Profile Visitors

1,088 profile views
  1. Craycombe?
  2. A duck was thinking about crossing the road. A passing chicken said "I wouldn't bother, you'll never hear the end of it".
  3. Should have gone to Specsavers?
  4. Wisdom is considering the weather forecast, taking advantage of the nice sunny day on Saturday and getting in some pleasant miles in the dry Glad you all got back safely.
  5. He fitted a slot Downloaded the lot Against that, the internet pales.
  6. There was an old rider from Dover Who regularly got a boat over One time he went in the Chunnel And said "oh dear, where's the funnel?" But he then rode his bike to the Louvre
  7. Well, that was a nice change. New cafe, some new roads and a change of scenery. Plus of course the usual good riding company. Such a shame that the Lenches seem to get steeper every year that passes At the cafe were Ladies : Christine & Ruth Others : Ivor, ChrisK, Barry, Sean (with new tyres), Flea Litchet and TonyS Given a Beacon group turned up at the same time as us, the staff coped very well, the service was good and the lady owner was very welcoming towards cyclists (that was before the second Beacon lot turned up just as we were leaving).
  8. You need to keep up and read the WEATHER thread
  9. There's a good airport at Stansted Mountfitchet, are you implying anything, Ivor?
  10. By agreement of the Organising Committee, tomorrow's destination is Ellenden Farm Shop tearooms, Harvington. Recommended by ChrisP so any complaints must be made to him. 09.45 prompt at Tardebigge. Outwards route via Bradley Green and Rous/Atch Lench (compulsory stops at each hilltop), return via Dunnington and Abbots Morton. No bad jokes, thank you, erudite conversation only.
  11. Alas poor Sean! I knew him, Ivor, a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy. He hath ridden behind my back (and in front) a thousand times, and now how abhorr'd in my imagination it is! My pump is ready for him. (with apologies to Will Shake)
  12. 'ere that's my joke and I claim all the associated groans. Anyway, for my encore : What do you call a lonely toucan? A onecan, of course! Blame that one on Spike Milligan.
  13. There once was a cyclist called Sean Whose tyres were all tattered and torn There was a loud sound And much hanging around Oh poor man, he did feel forlorn
  14. Sorry but couldn't resist - must be worth 50 bonus clubrun points! There was an old cyclist from Chelt'nham Who was riding along feeling quite numb He logged on to all sports And bought some new bib shorts Then got a big 'THANK YOU' from his bum
  15. Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap. Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake? A: Oh no. Wine made from fruit. Fruit very good. Brandy distilled wine, that mean they take water out of fruity bit so you get even more of goodness that way. Beer also made of grain. Grain good too. Bottom up! Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program? A: Can't think of one, sorry. My philosophy: No pain...good! Q: Is swimming good for your figure? A: If swimming good for figure, explain whale to me. Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle? A: Hey! 'Round' is shape! Well... I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. And remember: Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO-HOO, what a ride!!" AND...... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. It's a relief to know the truth after all those conflicting nutritional studies. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. 5. The Germans drink a lot of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Brits. CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.